I’ll Never Change My Name, A Journey of Self-Discovery

I’ll Never Change My Name feels like an extended conversation with an old friend.  I’ve always been a fan of Val’s humor and delivery and his voice is all over this book.  There were many one liners where I could picture him saying the words out loud and then flashing that signature smile of his that always melts my heart.  Val’s witty banter comes through in his word choices, which at times, literally made me laugh out loud.  While not claiming to be a self-help book, advice is scattered throughout, as Val’s mantras for life come alive on the pages through his unique challenges, his highs and his lows. 

The book is divided into 5 parts and alternate between two titles: “A Journey in Dance,” and “A Journey in Life.”  I believe this was done to illustrate how dance and life are interwoven for Val.  His journey is not complete without the other.  As you delve into the book, he comes across as someone who has made mistakes, but never admitted defeat, whose loyalty to his family is evident through every page, and who always strives to be better. 

Val’s is not a story of rags to riches, but of a Russian immigrant who quite literally found his “footing” in America (pun intended) and now calls it home.  Val invites you to take a journey with him: it’s one of “fulfillment, exploration, and celebration.”  On that journey, you’ll get to explore several facets of what make Val who he is today, including his rise to the top in the competitive ballroom dance circuit, the opening of the family business, (first Rising Stars Dance Academy, then Dance With Me studios), and of course his transformation on “DWTS.”

Valentin Aleksandrovich Chmerkovskiy is quite a mouthful.  Val admits that most people could not even pronounce it until he began a stint on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars.”  First appearing in 2006 on the second season as the student of brother Maksim Chmerkovskiy, it wasn’t until 2011 during season 13 when Val became a professional dancer.  Now, with two mirrorballs later, 2 tours: Maks and Val: Our Way in 2016 and most recently, Maks & Val & Peta this year, it’s safe to say that there is no telling what the future holds for this once “G” list celebrity. 

While I may not exactly remember Val’s first appearances on “DWTS” his charm, dancing savvy, and personality have made me into a longtime fan.  I’ve even had the pleasure of meeting him twice- and can say without a doubt, he cares tremendously for his fans.  On one such occasion, after waiting outside after his San Diego show for nearly an hour, (I convinced my friend that he would likely come out after) low and behold, I was right.  He took the time to individually talk to about 10 of us, take selfies and sign his book. 

It’s an odd thing isn’t it, coming face-to-face with “celebrities?”  I couldn’t imagine being on the receiving end, but Val describes the moment perfectly: “Without realizing it, I had become something like a D-list—no, not even a D-list—I had become a G-list celebrity.”  During the midseason of “Dancing with the Stars,” at a meet and greet at a Long Island pub is when it truly happened.  “I felt myself changing, starting to care about people more now that I saw them care about me.”  It was all about connection.  “..I came to realize that connection was what I’d been searching for my entire life.”  I’m proud to be a fan and even more proud to say that reading this book has made me feel as though Val has let me into the private side of his life that has made him who he is today.

I’ll Never Change My Name opens with an anecdote that sets up the theme of self-discovery and self-identity. It is a very human thing to feel a sense of not belonging—it can occur at any time in one’s life.  Often times people come into our lives who help us on this path.  Enter Olympic Medalist Laurie Hernandez.

In the summer of 2016, Val ducks into a bodega in Manhattan, and on TV is the Olympics gymnastics competition.  He describes watching “a small-statured girl, very young, super charming.”  She “had a special quality about her, a calmness in the middle of a pressure-packed situation.”  He goes onto to say that, “She wasn’t just an Olympic athlete, but a little star.”  On one of her passes during her tumbling routine, “She found the camera.”  Little did Val know, they would later become partners and lifelong friends on “DWTS,” and earn Val his second mirrorball trophy. 

Val had to tackle many stereotypes throughout his life and I particularly enjoyed his insights on the matter.  In a world where we constantly use labels to define others, and the political climate grows more and more tense every day, it’s refreshing to be reminded that walls are meant to broken.  “When someone labels you, it means they can stop thinking about you as a human being,” says Val. Case in point, is Val “the ballroom dance guy on TV?”  Yes, but he’s also so much more than that.  He’s also a brother, a son, a goofball, a poet, a baller, and a genuinely hardworking individual.

Val grew up in Odessa, Ukraine, and emigrated to Brooklyn, New York at age 8.  Throughout the book, the reader gains access into Val’s earliest memories.  As Val mentions, it’s hard to imagine his hometown Odessa, unless you’ve experienced it firsthand.  “There was little money around, no jobs, zero opportunity.”  As a reader though, we see glimpses of Val as a child, getting kicked out of kindergarten for pushing children off the merry-go-round, playing scales on his violin for a full hour, and then running outside to play with his friends.  Years later, when he steps off the plane at JFK his first impression of America was “the air smelled different,” “the colors seemed sharper,” and the water tasted fresher.  This taste of freedom truly opened his eyes.

In hindsight, sometimes some of your best memories may today be your most embarrassing.  I”ll Never Change My Name is filled with stories like this, like when Val appeared on “Sally” in his zebra shirt, thinking he was so cool.  I can relate- I remember owning a pleather purple jacket myself, that at the time made me feel like I had just raided Cher’s closet from “Clueless.” 

Likewise, I think we can all relate to a time in life where we put in the effort and were not rewarded.  You can either admit defeat, or work even harder to prove yourself the second time around.  When this happened to Val, it drove him to push harder.  His crowning moment in his life, when realized, was so incredibly powerful to read, that take it from me, you just have to read it for yourself.  If I could use one word to describe that moment, it would be glorious.     

I especially enjoyed the dynamic throughout the book between Val and Maks.  “The most important thing to know about me is family.  In fact, very nearly the only thing to know about me is family.”  While Val’s love for Maks is apparent, it is also clear that Val craved the spotlight.  My favorite line of the book really speaks to anyone who has siblings- “I’m not some sidekick and I never set out to be Robin.  I am Batman.”  He admits that sharing the spotlight “has its own tricky challenges.”  By the time Val made his first guest appearance on “DWTS” in 2006, the dynamic began to shift even more—Maks was gaining fame, and Val wanted a taste of it.  Meanwhile, he was still doing his own thing competing in the ballroom dance competition circuit. 

By the time Val began his first season as a pro in 2011, he admits that his first impression on the show made him sound like a “snotty little douchebag.”  Back then, Team Maks fans took Val’s playful sarcasm as trash talk, pitting the two against each other.  Being paired with Elisabetta Cannalis, designer Roberto Cavalli’s muse, or better known as George Clooney’s ex didn’t make things any easier, as Val struggled with how to teach her.  He wanted to prove himself that first season, yet his flaw was he was teaching her how to become a world champion ballroom dancer, not how to ballroom dance on a television show.  His technique was harsh.  “..I didn’t place much value on uplifting rhetoric, because I was so accustomed to using challenging rhetoric.”  What came across on the screen was for a lack of a better term, an *hole.  They were eliminated in week two.  At this point in Val’s career, he was young.  He had a lot to learn.   But in retrospect, it allowed him to shine the rest of the season as a solo dancer.  

When Season 15 of “DWTS” rolled around in 2012, Val finally got a taste of the spotlight.  The season was composed of all-stars, both champions and fan favorites from various seasons.  Val was paired with “General Hospital’s” Kelly Monaco, the first mirrorball champion ever.  It was Val’s first taste of a “fully adult season.”  While Val admits, he played into his sex symbol role, he also admits, “Kelly mentored me in ways that I desperately needed back then.”  Another 5 seasons would pass before Val was paired with singer Rumer Willis in season 20.  Together they went on to win the coveted mirrorball.

For all the intimate details Val shares about his life, he reserves only two pages to his now-fiancé, and the reigning mirrorball champ Jenna Johnson (with partner Adam Rippon, Olympic medalist) but that is that is needed to show how much she means to him.   Val expresses insecurities that most people would be afraid to put down on paper and that is what makes it so honest and real.  I love the line, “Sometimes it’s your moment, and you’ve got to love that, and sometimes it’s her moment, and you’ve got to love that too.”  This past season, Val was there in the audience rooting on Jenna every week, and gushing about how proud he was of her.  Their love story is not one that is contrived for ratings and time will continue to make it stronger.

I’ll Never Change My Name is a great uplifting read for any fan of “DWTS,” or dance.  But it’s also a story of family, friendship, struggles, wins, and losses.  Whether you are a fan of Val’s or not, by the end you will be in his corner.  As we look to the upcoming year, there are sure to be even more chapters to add to Val’s story, (wedding perhaps?) and I can’t wait to read all about it.