Bachelor Nation Shook to the Core, with Most Shocking Upset Yet

Many women dream of the moment their significant other will get down on one knee and ask those three magic words, “Will you marry me?”  For Becca and the viewers, it appeared that she was finally going to get her happily ever after with Arie.  Then, in a shocking turn of events, we watched producers film what they lauded as a completely unedited, two-camera angle scene, showing Arie confessing his love for the “other girl,” ending his engagement, and leaving most of Bachelor Nation feeling duped.               

As I write this, I am painfully aware that anything I say must be taken with a grain of salt.  We all know that television is geared at ratings and that many of the fairy tale endings we witness on the last episode of the Bachelor end up not translating to the real world.   There have certainly been other questionable bachelors who audiences discovered did not turn out to be as genuine as they were initially portrayed.  However, when the first thought that crossed my mind while watching this scene play out was Juan Pablo is looking pretty good right about now, you know this situation is alarming.

Let me also preface this by saying I wasn’t invested in this season of the Bachelor as much as I wanted to be.  I always thought there was something off with Arie, and I couldn’t quite place it.  Despite this, I too am a sap for happy endings and tuned into the finale hoping for one.  Here are the rest of my thoughts, in no particular order. 

Arie had no business getting down on one knee if he was unsure that he was making the right decision.  Becca echoed this sentiment.  She didn’t deserve this.  No one does.  I also question whether he really fell in love with Becca at all, or just fell in the love with the idea of her.  She’s intelligent, smart, and knows what she wants.  She didn’t appear to be as guarded as Lauren, and I feel like we got to know her better than Lauren, yet something was off.  What was it?  

When Becca walks into the house and mentions how gorgeous it is, I felt a horrible pit forming in my stomach.  I’m sure producers probably told her some lie about how they were going to film an update of their life now.  It was an unsettling feeling that only grew more once they began talking. 

For much of this extended, unedited scene, we repeatedly hear Arie saying he’s going to leave and instead he paces throughout the house, has the nerve to ask Becca if she’s ok and then decides that he still wants to talk.  Again, putting aside the biases that go into creating a television show, what man decides to go on television and break someone’s heart and then continues to stick around after she tells him to repeatedly leave?  I literally was screaming at the television, “OMG, just go already!”

Arie’s choice of words that this will likely make him “unpopular” has to be the understatement of the year.  Again, this goes back to uncertainty.  If you weren’t sure, you shouldn’t have proposed.  And furthermore, let’s stop and ponder a moment about whether or not Lauren takes him back.  She was also humiliated and heartbroken when he sent her packing.  Will his apology be enough to pick up the pieces?   

If anyone deserves to be the next Bachelorette, it is Becca.  For anyone who thinks this was a carefully orchestrated plot on behalf of ABC, I say anything’s possible I guess, but I also highly doubt anyone willingly chooses to be made to look like a fool.

I’ll be tuning in tonight just like the rest of America to see how this all plays out, but I suspect there will even more boos tonight than last night when Arie takes the stage.  Is anyone else getting Jerry Springer vibes?         

Farewell AIM, and We Thank You

I can distinctly remember in middle school, rushing to get home to turn on AIM.  Looking back now, it’s kind of strange how often the people we would be communicating with in real life were the same ones we rushed home to talk to.  But here I look fondly back at a messaging device that most millennials including myself, used and loved.

1.) Your Screenname

Careful thought and planning went into the creation of a screenname that easily said who you were but also didn’t.  While some people put careful consideration into the numbers at the second half of their screenname, others took the easier route and just used their birthdays, which should be noted by today’s standards of identity theft was probably a bad idea. I took this route.  Mine was carefully orchestrated to reveal my love for my favorite television show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  My second screenname was a bit more mysterious.  It revealed my love for the Backstreet Boys, but if you didn’t know me or you weren’t a fan, you might not have caught on.  I also thought it would look cooler if I alternated caps and lower case.  Hence BsBgUrL was born.

2.) Multiple Screennames

Way back before ghosting was a thing, having multiple screennames was an easy way to see if someone you had been talking to really fell off the face of the earth, or they just decided to block you.  It was also an easy way to spy on crushes.  You could log in on your other screenname and check what they posted on their profile.  (It should be noted that this often backfired as they could easily do the same to you, but we all did it.)  

3.) The Coveted Away Message

I know I’m not the only one here when I say that my away messages were on point.  Sometimes I would just log on and be away because they were just that good.  (Don’t lie, you know you did the same.)  They would perfectly reflect my current mood and allow me to be cryptic when I wanted to be.  The best way to do this of course was to use song lyrics and television and movie quotes.  I dug into my vault to share just a few of my favorites.  Extra points go to those of you who can pinpoint which songs these are from and bonus points if you can name the television show I was watching that inspired them.

"Not everything is gonna be the way

You think it ought to be.

It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me."

"Careful what you wish and just how

far you let it lead you......

'til you find you can so simply go on"

Try these ones out.  Which television show are they from?  Bonus points if you can name the character who said them!

"Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get."

"Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?!"

"It begins where it ends....in nothingness. A nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded. Whispering images unlocked from time and distance. A soul unbound--touched by others but never held. On a course charted by some unseen hand. The journey ahead promising no more than my past reflecting back upon me, until at last, I reach the end. Facing a truth I can no longer deny. Alone, as ever."

4.) Emoticons

Before there were cell phones and the advent of emojis, we had to rely on simple keyboard combinations, which I definitely don’t remember very well.  These few were common:

:)- happy

;)- wink

:(- sad

:P- sticking tongue out  

<3- heart/love

5.) Buddy List

It always seemed to be a competition among friends as to who could get the most friends on their "Buddy List."  You could easily divide your "buddies" into different lists, so that you wouldn't combine your friends and family into the same category.  It's interesting how we felt the need to do this.  Many people even made a list with people they would never IM but wanted see if they were online.  It was certainly a good spying tool.

6.) Robots 

Before there was Siri there was SmarterChild.  You could ask him a question and he would try and answer it.  He got just as easily confused as Siri does and didn't like it if you said mean things to him.

There you have it.  These are all the amazing features kids growing up today will never have the chance to know or understand, but I'm glad I did.  There was something so simple about those middle school years.  I can't remember the last time I actually said, "Catch ya later on AIM?" but I remember how glorious it was to ask that.  Now excuse me while I sign off for the last time:(.

Bleachers: I May Be Late to the Party, but It Is Still Going Strong

While at my friend’s house, a song came on her Spotify and I immediately asked, “Who is this?”  “Bleachers,” she said.  The next sentence out of my mouth was, “This sounds like Fun.  “Funny you should say that,” she said.  “Jack Antonoff is in it, and he’s in Fun."

I was immediately intrigued.  Upon first listen I was struck by the dancey, catchy beats, but as I gave it a deeper listen, I was overwhelmed with influences from Fun to Taylor Swift, and even the Beach Boys.  As a fan of both the 80s and the 90s, Bleachers is a mix of energy and fun: two things both decades are known for. 

Though Antonoff’s side project was kept a secret up until May 2013, when it was announced on Facebook post by Brooklyn music studio Mission Sound, it wasn’t until February 18, 2014 when they released their first single “I Wanna Get Better,” along with the launch of their website.

As I anticipate seeing them live tonight, here are a few of their songs I can’t get out of my head:

“Don’t Take the Money”

I love when a band doesn’t have to try too hard to be different, because music is a melding of influences.  It should come as no surprise then that their latest single, “Don’t Take the Money” could easily be confused as a Fun track.  Bleachers uses the spoken word just like in “Fun-Some Nights.”  I’m not always a fan of this technique unless the lyrics truly mean something, but in “Don’t Take the Money” the lyrics are poetic in nature and capture the idea of never selling out.  They sing, “When you're looking at your shadow/Standing on the edge of yourself/Praying on the darkness/Just don't take the money..”  The opening lyric, “Somebody broke me once/Love was a currency” speaks of a relationship where money became the driving factor.  As the relationship goes on, the singer reminisces to earlier, better times as noted in the chorus, “You steal the air out of my lungs, you make me feel it/I pray for everything we lost, buy back the secrets…”

“I Wanna Get Better”

This song is an anthem for change and bettering oneself.  It illustrates that no matter what horrible experiences you may have been through, the darkness can fade.  You can get better.  Perhaps one of Antonoff’s most personal songs, he spoke to MTV saying, “I wanted to tell my whole life story condensed into three verses…”  The song deals with Antonoff losing his sister when he was a teenager: “I froze in time between hearses and caskets.”  After that happened, Antonoff got into acid.  The frantic pace of the chorus perfectly captures this high.  Later in the song, Antonoff’s sister comes to him in a dream: “Woke up this morning early before my family/From this dream where she was trying to show me/How a life can move from the darkness/She said to get better.”  He recognizes that he needs to change.     

“Goodmorning”

If you listen closely to the beginning notes of “Goodmorning,” you may hear the Beach Boys’ Forever.  As you get to the third line, “Always one foot out when you say goodbye to the one that you love/One dream away from the ones above” you may even hear hints of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables.  Whether intentional or not, it’s an interesting juxtaposition.  “Goodmorning” takes the idea of a love song and flips it on its head.  The singer wakes up in the “in-between” which could be a drunken stupor contemplating where his life is going after his indiscretion: “Because I lied to you (I lied to you)/I lied to your face in the summer.”  The chorus pokes fun at his lifestyle: “I'm singing out back.  Good morning to the cops (oh)/Good morning to my upstairs neighbor,” because is it really a good morning?  He wishes he could change things: “I wish that I could stop (oh)/Now I wish that I could live a little safer...”  There appears to be forgiveness from the mystery girl, “Yeah, she touched me, said, ‘I know you're not to blame’” but he knows the truth: “What a weight to live under/What a lie that's been covered.”  By the end of the song he still wants her: “I'm coming for you…”

“Rollercoaster”

I defy anyone to not try and dance to this one- it’s near impossible.  While we all may not have experienced a perfect love story, the song title alone is metaphoric in so many ways.  Love can be slow, then increase in intensity.  It can be a ride that seems to go on and on, or it can end just as quickly as it started.   As a huge fan of Taylor’s Swift’s 1989, I couldn’t help but hear “You’re in Love” at the beginning of this track.  Swift co-wrote that track with Antonoff and is about his relationship with Lena Dunham.  Strikingly similar, the opening notes on both of these songs evoke a sense of magic- that tingly feeling you feel at the beginning of a relationship.  The song speaks of a young summer love: “It was summer when I saw your face/But like a teenage runaway/” By the second verse, the singer’s infatuation has grown, as he thinks about her “..every day and night…”  By the chorus, the excitement of the new love has reached an all-time high.

“Live A River Runs”

Sometimes it takes a unique voice to take an ordinary song to the next level.  In Sia’s cover of “Like a River Runs,” her combination of soul and deep longing takes this ballad up a notch.  The lyrics evoke painful reminders of a relationship that was destroyed: “I woke up thinking you were still here/My hands shaking with regret.”  As the chorus hits,  “When I fall asleep I can see your face/What I lost in you I will not replace” there is the sense that moving on is not so simple nor is it feasible at this point in time.  As the listener, you can feel the emotion and it’s hauntingly beautiful.  Darkness and light are prevalent in Antonoff’s songs and “Like A River Runs” is no exception: “And if you see me in the darkness/I hope you know I'm not alone/I carry you with every breath I take.”       

An Open Letter to Ellen: Come Back to the Emmys

Dear Ellen,

Though we’ve never actually met, I think you are one of the most down-to-earth celebrities I could ever meet.  You are kind, funny and classy: 3 things that seemed to be missing from last night’s Emmys.

We all know the political arena has changed dramatically over this past year.  Our country has become more divided than ever before and while satire and comedy have always been front and center at the Emmys, this year in particular, they seemed to be the driving force.  Gone were the flashy, opening musical numbers, replaced instead with jokes that made me feel uncomfortable as an audience member.

I tuned in expecting to see sparkly outfits, and a political joke thrown in here or there.  Instead, I saw a host who chose to use his own beliefs to drive an awards show that is supposed to provide entertainment to those watching.

While I know it’s naïve to think that political beliefs wouldn’t come up at all given our current state of affairs and also given the choice in host, it none-the-less for me, was the wrong choice and the wrong approach to a time-honored, American tradition.

The choice of host should be bestowed upon someone who knows how to navigate our world in a way that doesn’t offend people but makes them laugh.  I admire anyone who can make you get up out of your seat and dance, who chooses to entertain with empathy and isn’t afraid to be a little silly. 

I’m not sure at what point I turned off the Emmys, but I do know if Ellen was hosting this wouldn’t have been the case.  So please, Emmys, next year bring back the fun or I’ll be once again tuning out.       

Signed,

A Disgruntled Fan