If there is any episode of “Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” that is worth watching, it is season two’s episode entitled, Zoey’s Extraordinary Reckoning. At times uncomfortable to watch, while at other times uplifting, it dives deep into both the black and white experience.
To give you a quick backstory, Zoey and Simon work at
SPRQPOINT, a tech firm in Silicon Valley. Zoey has recently been promoted to executive
manager of the fourth floor. Simon was recently promoted to PR Spokesperson.
After a glitch is discovered in SPRQPOINT’s latest venture the Chirp, Simon is
told to make a statement to the media. While he addresses the glitch, which is that
the facial recognition software is having trouble identifying people of color,
he also addresses the overarching problem at SPRQPOINT. “But what has not been
fixed is the environment that led to this embarrassing oversight…If we don’t
start talking about this now, nothing is ever going to change.” The company only
has one person of color in managerial positions globally, with not a single
person of color on the board.
I applaud the show for its authenticity in reflecting both sides
of this exchange. Many of the “flaws” or blind spots in which I see in Zoey
were ones that I too have seen in myself. After Simon speaks his truth, Zoey
runs to the elevator not understanding how she could have missed this. She begins
with an apology, admitting that she was too focused on coming up with a
solution to a problem that she failed to see the real problem.
Zoey: “First of all, woah! Secondly, why didn’t you tell me?”
Simon: “I did try to tell you. I called you. Right after
Danny Michael Davis dropped this on me. You weren’t really listening.”
Zoey: “I thought I was listening. You said there was a
problem with the Chirp, so I assumed that it was a coding issue, not that issue.”
Simon: “Well, when a black employee tells you that a tech device
is having trouble recognizing people of color, I think maybe you’d be able to
put two and two together.”
Zoey: “I was so focused on coming up with a solution I wasn’t
hearing what was behind the problem.”
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While Zoey immediately apologizes, she does not quite know
what she is apologizing for. She has trouble addressing the problem as one of racism-
instead, she calls it “that issue.” While Zoey recognizes that her own
biases led her to not truly hear the problem, this lack of awareness makes her
feel guilty. Again, she tries to apologize but an apology is not what Simon is
looking for.
At the beginning of my journey and even now, I have had a
hard time recognizing or calling out my own inherent biases. I, like Zoey was
afraid of using terms that might offend or be misinterpreted. I too have felt
the need to apologize because it was easier or seemed like it was the right
thing to do. I have learned that naming that which it truly is, is both necessary
and needed.
The second necessary yet uncomfortable scene is when Zoey tells
Simon that the CEO Danny Michael Davis wants him to retract his statement. She
states, “It’s total BS but I’m just the messenger,” and tells Simon he’s not
alone.
Simon’s response is, “I don’t feel like you’re just the
messenger and I do feel very alone in this.” Zoey tries to offer allyship, yet at
this point does not understand what that means. She responds, “I’m on your side.”
Simon replies, “It’s impossible for you to be on my side in this situation. And
you cannot rewrite an experience you know nothing about.”
And here the truth comes to light:
Zoey: “I mean, I know a little right?”
Simon: “How?”
Zoey: “I’m a woman in the tech world. I know what it’s like
to be..”
Simon: “Yes, but that has nothing to do with who I am as a
black man in the world and what my experience as a black man is in this office…I
have to constantly amputate parts of who I am to make others feel comfortable
in my presence, so they feel safe. So that when I walk on the elevator, they
aren’t startled when they see me. Do you even have to think about that?”
Zoey: “I mean, if I’m being honest, when I see you, I just
see Simon.”
Simon: “Simon is a black man. You seeing me as only Simon
denies a fundamental part of who I am. And you asking me to walk back my words,
Zoey, is telling me to deny that fundamental part of who I am.”
----
Again, I see myself in Zoey. How often have I been taught as
a white woman, to try and relate to others by relaying shared experiences? There
are times when I am looked at differently because I am a woman and not a man. I
struggle to overcome barriers as a woman. But this is not a one-upmanship, and it
is not the same thing. Sometimes the best thing I can do as a white woman is to
listen and acknowledge that I hear your experience.
I also thought not seeing color was a good thing. It meant
that I look at people for who they are. But in denying blackness, you are not
seeing someone as they are. You are not acknowledging their experience. And as
Simon goes on to say, “And you asking me to walk back my words, Zoey, is
telling me to deny that fundamental part of who I am. And whether you’re doing
that as my boss or my friend that makes you part of the problem.”
Enacting real change is messy. It involves long, hard
conversations and a deep dive into the uncomfortable. But Simon was right. We
cannot actively move forward by acknowledging a problem if we refuse to do anything
to change it.
By the conclusion of the episode, after a slew of SPRQPOINT
employees tell their stories of racism via social media, Simon tells the board that
he will be amending his statement to say that his experience is shared- but
that the work is just beginning.
“See we’re not going to be able to fix this problem with just
diversity committees, workshops, donating to a few places to help clear your conscience.
It’s about changing the culture here. It’s about being inclusive in the rooms
where decisions are being made, including this one.”
I am still learning what it means to be an ally. It is not
an easy journey. Sometimes I say the right thing and sometimes I don’t. But I am
learning not to be afraid to say how I feel. And I am asking that if I do say
the wrong thing, please be patient with me and call me out on it.
When Zoey tells Simon he is going to quit, (prior to others
coming out and sharing their stories), she responds, “You have to do what feels
right for you. And I support you.” I wholeheartedly felt this deep in my soul. Acknowledging
that though our struggles are not the same, but instead require a partnership is
what allyship means to me.
